Scottish Sweeties Part 3: Deep-Fried Mars Bar
Yes, it had to be done. I had to try a deep-fried Mars bar. Even though I’ve been coming to Edinburgh all my life and have never seen one, all my American friends kept telling me that Scottish people love these things, so I was on a mission. Here’s what you do: find a chippy (fish & chips joint), ask them kindly, and they’ll run out from behind the counter to grab a still-wrapped bar from their candy stash, which they’ll then open up, dip in batter, deep-fry, and present to you for your immediate consumption, all for around £2.
Well, I loved it. I was afraid it would taste fishy or sausagey or be tainted by some other flavor from the pile of assorted deep-fried shapes you see on their warming tray, since I’m guessing they’re all dipped in the same batter and oil. But it didn’t. No hint of fish or meat at all. I was also worried that the bar’s insides would become like molten lava, but my worries on this front also faded the minute I took a tentative bite. The inside was pleasantly warm and melty. The thin layer of batter had a nice crunch– not too greasy and it immediately adhered itself to the roof of my mouth along with the oozy caramel. So I don’t suggest trying to carry on a deep discussion about Existentialism or the many iterations of the health care bill while you’re eating. Just enjoy.
Scottish Sweeties Part 2: S. Luca’s Ice Cream Parlour
As a child, a trip to S. Luca’s ice cream parlor in Musselburgh, a port town very close to Edinburgh, was the greatest of treats. Sluca’s (my grandfather’s nickname for it), has been making the most unctuous ice cream since 1908, when Mr. Luca Scappaticcio came over from Italy and learned the craft from a Swiss sous chef (weird, right? aren’t Italians the ones who are kinda known for ice cream?). Sluca’s sundaes, especially the almighty Knickerbockerglory, are legendary, and I had to make a pilgrimage:
The Knickerbockerglory is a parfait made from vanilla and strawberry ice cream, with strawberry topping and whipped cream. The Praline Parfait is Neapolitan ice cream with chocolate sauce and hazelnuts. Both are quite tall and force you to improve your posture greatly in order to consume them. The Meringue Mess is vanilla ice cream floating in a butterscotch and freshly-cut banana soup, with a little crunchy meringue for texture. These 3 were, of course, parfaits parfaits.
At first, I scoffed at my mom’s Sticky Toffee Pudding order, as there were plenty more delightful sundaes to choose from, but she pointed out that an STP is good for my Scottish dessert research and also quite tasty, so I relented. It wasn’t sticky, so much as sweet and decadent. The cake was so moist, it sparkled like a mound of jewels. An STP’s toffee is typically made from black treacle (molasses), Demerara sugar (unrefined and brownish), and cream. Ours was quite warm, and the accompanying scoops of vanilla ice cream melted right into the toffee pool.
We brought some vanilla and strawberry ice cream home for my grandfather, who will almost certainly eat it smothered in extra-thick double cream, which I think is illegal in the U.S. My Grandpa is such a rebel.
S. Luca 32-38 High Street Musselburgh EH21 7AG Scotland 0131-665-2237 http://www.s-luca.co.uk/Scottish Sweeties Part 1: Homemade Treats
I was in my mom’s home town of Edinburgh last week to celebrate my aunt’s 50th and my cousin’s 18th b’days (Hello, Auntie Margaret & Lisa!). The baking was out of control. Check out all the desserts we had in one night of partying:
My mom made a Celtic “Hoops” roulade. For those of you who don’t know how crazy Scottish & Irish folks– actually all Europeans– actually all Earthlings outside the U.S.– are about soccer, then let this cake be your introduction to the insanity. My family worships the Celtic football team, so the decoration was green & white stripes, much like the players’ jerseys. The sponge cake was light and moist, and it was filled with fresh raspberries and cream and frosted with cream cheese icing. Heavenly. Then we had my Aunt Miriam’s delicious chocolate cake, made with Cadbury Drinking Chocolate, which not only sounds, but actually is, much better than the likes of Nesquick. Now some may say that also having lemon & chocolate tarts was just too decadent, so those people aren’t related to me. And, finally, what meal would be complete without some Butlers chocolates straight from Dublin as a digestif? I wonder where I could possibly have gotten my sweet tooth?
Philippine Bread House – The Lovely Breads
Continuing my theme of going to close-by, yet unknown (to me) towns in the Garden State, I kicked it in Jersey City this past weekend. There is a sizable Filipino population, so I naturally wanted to see what folks have for dessert:
Sapin-sapin is an egg-yellow, white, and purple layered jello-like ”pie” made from rice flour and coconut milk. I like how PBH has a separate packet of crunchy coconut bits to sprinkle on top. This way, they don’t get soggy– good thinking. The dessert itself, alas, was fairly bland. Its presentation and nice chew were its strongest features. The Kalamayhati, or glutinous rice, however, had no strengths other than the novelty of its (to quote a friend) La Brea Tar Pits-like consistency. You can see in the pictures that there were obviously bubbles while it was being made, which burst, but then retained their circular pock-marks. That, along with the pics of folk trying to fork some up, should be all you need to tell you that this was thick, gooberous stuff. I did not like! The Ube halaya, or purple yam jam (now THAT’s a good band name), was also bland, but at least had a pleasant vegetable purée texture. But the Polvoron, or powder candy, was my least favorite. Don’t let the term “powder candy” trick you. This was basically a hard, short (as in crumbly) cookie that tasted like lard. Not Crisco– animal fat. Animal fat and sugar. I shudder at the thought. Nothing wrong with lard in a Christmas pudding– it seems decadent and fitting with the season. But in an innocent cookie? Blasphemy.
PHB’s best offerings, unsurprisingly, are its breads. And oh, such breads! The Taisan mini, like a cross between chiffon cake and brioche, was so moist and light, with a wonderful spongy mouth-feel. It had butter and finely granulated sugar on top, which leant a lovely sweetness and hint of crunch. The Pan de sal, or salt bread, was not really salty at all, but rather vaguely sweet. It was soft and warm and delicious. Apparently, this bread came over to the Philippines from Spain long ago and used to resemble a French baguette, but due to a decline in the quality of wheat, it eventually became soft and poofy. I guess I like weak wheat! The Ensaymada ube, or purple yam brioche, was also excellent. It also had the fine sugar on top, but with the addition of grated cheddar-like cheese. Weird, I know. You’ve got this sweet, doughy, squishy roll filled with purple yam jam, and then you’ve got this cheesy bite. I will dream about these breads.
On a totally non-dessert note, if you’ve never been to a real old-school movie palace before, do yourself a favor and hit up the Jersey City Loews, which is surprisingly easy to get to off the Journal Square Path Train stop. I recently saw “The Third Man” there and can’t wait to return on March 27th, when they fire up “On the Waterfront.” Oh, the heartbreak when Marlon Brando famously says, “I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let’s face it.” Happy Friday!
Philippine Bread House 530 Newark Ave. Jersey City, NJ 07306 201-659-1753 http://philippinebreadhouse.com/The Vermont Country Store – God, when I die, can you make this my heaven?
I’ve always been a sucker (heh) for candy. As a kid, happiness was finding myself in a bulk food store with a bag in my hand and candy barrels as far as the eye could see. I could not understand why adults didn’t 1. spend every last penny they made on candy (food, housing, and clothes be damned!) and 2. make cookie batter and just eat it.
If you’re looking for old-timey candy like Squirrel Nut Zippers, Walnettos, and Cream Filberts, or other confections like malt balls, giant lollipops, and fudge, The Vermont Country Store is the place to go:
The peanut candies: so peanuty, crunchy, and sweet. The malt balls: crunchy and malty, the best flavor is the chocolate peanut butter. The Vermont Cookie Buttons: be they Purely Maple, Double Vanilla, Zesty Lemon or whatever, are bite-sized, crunchy goodness. And a newby on my most recent visit (can you tell I’ve been here about a billion times?): a maple-flavored cheesecake mix which I had a sample of. Oh my, such sweet heaven.
What is up, though, with the old-timey (and very European) penchant for black-licorice-flavored things? And is there anything more vile-sounding than Double Salt Licorice from Holland (where else)? Those are in the running with British Licorice-All-Sorts for being the worst sweets on the planet. I choose to ignore their very existence.
I was curious about the Cherry Mash, “an American favorite since 1918.” It was pretty terrible, actually. The nutty chocolate exterior was cheap and flavorless, and the cherry interior was cloying and fake-tasting. It’s made with maraschino cherries, which I usually like, but this just tasted like cough medicine surrounded in crunchy wax. I shudder just thinking about it now; it is my version of ipecac. There is a “recipe” on the back of the wrapper for a Cherry Mash Milkshake—no thank you to that!
Are you surprised that they have fudge here, too? Of course not! We all know what kinds of places have fudge, and that when you find yourself in a particularly quaint little town that doesn’t seem to have much going on, they will have fudge. I call them “Fudge Towns.” TVCS’s fudge is deelish. The best is their Penuche flavor, which is made from brown sugar rather than white, so it’s like super-powered fudge.
There’s a sign up that says, “Kids, count your own candy and let us know how much you owe.” What a strong incentive to do some math! Most of the candies have different prices, so they have to keep track. There’s a video on TVCS’s website where the owner, Lyman Orton, describes the occasional kid who’ll bring a giant bag of candy up to the cashier with, like, 75¢ written on it. The cashier lowers her glasses, teacher-style, and gives the kid the stink-eye. So the kid says, “Whoops, maybe I should count that again.” Oh, the little dickens.
If you go, make sure to go on an empty stomach. There are abundant samples of sausages, cheeses, dips, and fudge. My friends and I always get “Vermont County Store Stomach,” which is what happens when you mix bellies full of snacks & sweets with long car rides up and down hills on winding roads.
And they don’t just have food, of course. You can also find erotic toys for the elderly & sexy lingerie with matching caps there.
The Vermont Country Store657 Main Street Weston, VT 05161 802-824-3184 and 1292 Rockingham Road Rockingham, VT 05101
802-463-2224 or order from the extensive online store: www.vermontcountrystore.com
La Tía Delia – Congratulation, you’re in Paterson’s Peruvian Paradise
This past weekend, I learned that Paterson, NJ is a wonderful place, not only due to its breathtaking waterfalls, but also because of its historic silk industry, nearby American Labor Museum, and insanely good Peruvian food. Our friend and tour guide had to choose just one restaurant out of many, and that was La Tía Delia (or Aunt Delia, which makes me realize that the coffee liqueur, Tia Maria, must mean Aunt Maria). Apparently, any time you attach a familial name to food, people are more attracted to it– like “Grandma’s apple pie” sounds infinitely better than just plain-old “apple pie.” La Tía Delia made us the most delicious, homemade meal of rotisserie chicken, lamb stew, steak and onion stir-fry, creamy chicken & potatoes, and smokey bacon beans. It’s hard to imagine that there was any room left for dessert, but my friend spied some doughnut-like specimens on her way to the bathroom, so there was no question. Dessert and coffee in funny mugs were ordered in abundance:
The Arroz con leche was rich and creamy, with a healthy dusting of cinnamon and a hint of cloves. We then tried a mix of arroz con leche and mazamorra morada, which was even tastier. Mazamorra morada, apart from having a kick-ass name, is a dark purple, jelly-like substance made from purple corn (maiz morado), pineapple, potato flour, cloves, and cinnamon, which is the strongest flavor. During dinner, we had it in its drink form, chica morada. The flan had a nice, eggy, custardy consistency, and a sweet, liquidy syrup to slurp up with your spoon. Then there were the picarones, or fritters made from squash and sweet potato, which were the pièce de résistance. They were fresh from the fryer, crisp on the outside, moist and doughy on the inside. They weren’t very sweet on their own, but some thoughtful Peruvian way back when decided to serve them in a special syrup, made from chancaca (molasses tablet), orange peel, and (surprise, surprise) cinnamon & cloves. The result is sort of a cross between honey and corn syrup. One forkful of fritter + a dip in the syrup = Heaven. Should you decide to make your own pilgrimage to Paterson, make sure to come on a Saturday or Sunday, because Aunt Delia only makes her picarones on weekends.
La Tía Delia 28 Market StreetPaterson, NJ 07505 973-523-4550 c’mon, there’s no website, fool
GoodieBox Bake Shop – Red Velvet Cupcake Heaven
Cupcake litmus test: if you cut one in half with a knife, the two sides fall down, and the frosting top comes off, the cake is too dry and/or there’s too much frosting, and, basically, you’re in trouble. If you cut one into quarters, and the four tops remain intact after impact with the plate, you’ve got a moist, delicious, perfectly balanced red velvet cupcake from GoodieBox. I mean, (elderly New Yorker who’s gushing with praise) it’s so good– you neva’!
I recently went to a GoodieBox tasting at the East Harlem Café, a cute, hip joint with gorgeous mozaic art pieces. GoodieBox is a baked goods supplier operating out of Weehawken, NJ that specializes in classic and simple baked goods. Their red velvet cupcake was the best I’ve ever had. Perfect, light, vanilla cream cheese frosting– not too much to be sickening, not too little to be sad plus the aforementioned moist, springy cake. You can either order these babies online or hope that your local coffee shop starts carrying them. GoodieBox Bakeshop 201-430-8634 goodieboxbakeshop.com East Harlem Café 1651 Lexington Ave
(between 104th St & 105th St)
New York, NY 10029
Roni-Sue’s Chocolates – the Bacon Speaks for Itself
I realize the whole “bacon for dessert” thing is a bit played out at this point, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still delicious! Roni-Sue’s Chocolates, located in the Essex Street Market, lets both the bacon and the chocolate sing in its “Pig Candy.” Crispy bacon strips are hand-dipped in either milk or dark choclate. The saltiness of the bacon makes your mouth water, then the smooth chocolate melts and you have a heavenly bite indeed. I wish this could become a fixture on my brunch plate!
Since I’ve been dipping my bacon in maple syrup since I was a kid, I also had to try the Maple Bacon Lollipop. Holding it up to the light, I was reminded of those novelty lollies which contain horrific grasshoppers or worms. No bugs here, though, just visible chunks of bacon <sigh of relief>. The maple candy itself I found to be a bit too strong, like molasses– perhaps they use a very dark grade of maple syrup. But I found that once you make your way down to the bacon chunks, the flavor balances out.
Hie thyself to the Essex Street Market and get thee some bacon treats!
Roni-Sue’s Chocolates Essex Street Market 120 Essex Street (at Delancey) – closed on Sundays, btw 212-260-0421 http://www.roni-sue.com/PastryScoop’s Fall 2009 Conference
My beloved French Culinary Institute & PastryScoop.com held their annual conference in October. They invite some of the best pastry chefs & chocolatiers in New York to come and do demonstrations of their signature treats. It’s open to the public, so I ponied up $65 to watch Cookshop’s executive pastry chef Emily Wallendjack make her famous Cookshop Candy Bars, with layers of Devils food cake, gianduja crunch, praline ganache, frozen peanut nougat, and chocolate shell. She invented these after her stint at Jean-Georges working with pastry chef Johnny Iuzzini. Chef Johnny made a wonderful peanut butter dessert that cemented her love of peanut butter and chocolate. (I don’t blame her– Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are a guilty pleasure of mine.) She joked that if she ever dropped her Candy Bars from the menu, her customers would have her head. Once I tasted the completed confection, I understood why:
It was such a delight to watch her and her team work. She gave us the complicated recipe to follow-along with and make at home ourselves (hah!). She explained everything patiently, clearly, and with humble humor. Her sous chef, Natasha Hillendahl, was so efficient. Cake would get baked, chocolate would get melted, and needed cooking implements would appear by Chef Emily’s side without a word.
I learned the following random baking tidbits along the way:
-Gianduja is milk solids & hazelnuts, which civilians can purchase at Whole Foods and is made by Valrhona.
-Mayo (I know, ew!) actually works better than oil in cakes because it incorporates better. And yes (double-ew!!), you can use Hellmann’s. Chef Emily uses mayo in her Devils food cake.
-When making ganaches, it’s better to use a heat-proof spatula than a whisk so you don’t incorporate air bubbles. Also, using milk chocolate is dicey because it burns much faster than dark chocolate.
-Water is one of chocolate’s worst enemies, as it causes it to sieze up. When using a double-boiler to melt chocolate, make absolutey sure there’s a tight seal over the water, don’t let the water boil, and look out for condensation.
-Gelatin sheets (available at Buon Italia in the Chelsea Market) are great, flavorless thickeners. You put them in ice water to soften and wigglify. Then you squeeze them out before you use them.
-It’s good to whip cream with side-to-side motions using a flat whisk. It’ll still take forever, though!
-Pâte à glacer is just chocolate & grape seed oil, and is used to make chocolate coatings. You don’t refrigerate it.
-Chocolate “feet” form when you’re coating something, and it flattens and cools on a surface. Tasty feet!
After Chef Emily was done, I asked her what her favorite dessert was to make: “ice cream and sorbets,” she said. She loves experimenting with different flavors and selling them at their sidewalk stand outside the restaurant, where they don’t need a permit and are in a prime spot for High Line foot traffic. I get the sense that ice creams are the preferred form of expression for many pastry chefs. It certainly seems like those Iron Chef guys just can’t stay away from the ice cream makers. Lobster and shiitake sorbet, anyone?
After the Cookshop demo was over, I saw that next door’s Ice Cream Social with Flex Mussels’ corporate pastry chef Zac Young was still rockin’. I snuck in and was immediately struck by the frenetic atmosphere of the room. Chef Zac was making seemingly endless varieties of ice cream and sorbet, and his sous chef and the poor FCI students were busting their butts to keep up. I got to try the cream cheese ice cream and white chocolate mint and passion fruit sorbets, but I think my palate was shot by then or I was too full, because I didn’t find the flavors to be well-balanced; maybe they just weren’t sweet enough to my liking.
Looking forward to seeing who’s coming out next year! And, as always, I can’t wait for my next trip to L’Ecole, FCI’s amazing student-run restaurant.
Bûche de Noël – My Erstwhile Nemesis
Since I’m down with the old adage, “write what you know” (or kinda know in my case), I do some baking occasionally. It might have something to do with stealing tastes of the batter, frosting, or pure vanilla extract (resist this particular urge!) as I go, but even I get sick of whatever it is I’m making by the time it’s ready. By the next day, however, I’m craving my dessert again and eat it with great relish and (often) pride. And of course when you make something at home, you’ve got free license to eat it!
With an upcoming dinner party, I was inspired to make a Yule Log or Bûche de Noël, the classic French treat consisting of a thin layer of sponge and some sort of cream/jelly/flexible edible, all rolled up. I turned to Martha for guidance, and although the end result, I think, looked pretty good:
Bear with me, because I’m about to get all Julie & Julia up in this piece. Once I made my chocolate génoise (or French sponge), which I did not burn or, by the looks of things, overbake, plus my chocolate mousse filling, I began to ease it into its roll using a towel & parchment paper, as suggested. As luck would have it, the cake broke almost immediately, then proceeded to not roll so much as fold in on itself, to create, rather than a round log, a flattened log with mousse oozing unstoppably out the sides. Sweating and cursing, I then tried to move the mass over to some plastic wrap to chill in the fridge and set before decorating. It was so full of stuff, I couldn’t get a good hold on it, and it started collapsing. AARGH!! I looked at the pile of crap I was dealing with and was struck by the absurdity of my pursuit. Undoubtedly, everything I had here was delicious. Now why was I insisting on rolling it into a shape it obviously had no interest in forming? Why didn’t I just toss it all into a large bowl, pour some ganache on top, and have at it? Because I didn’t want to accept defeat, that’s why. So, after much mousse-loss, I wrapped it up and threw it into the fridge, so that I could work on the easiest thing in the world: chocolate ganache.
As you can see from my pics, I was eventually able to successfully turn my messy pile into a thing of humble beauty, using a fork, evergreen sprigs, and powdered sugar. Pastry chefs must not only be great bakers, but also great sculpters and artists. My respect for them grows by the day. I was so proud, I didn’t even want to cut through it during our dinner party. But I did, and found that the light génoise, mousse, and touch of strawberry jam melded perfectly with the smooth ganache. I guess I’ll make another one next year.